I was reading Neil Gaiman’s Tumblr, because I am a huge fan and I follow him on there, when he recently reblogged a post written by his wife, Amanda Palmer. I found her post interesting and rather topical since it seemed to link directly with an article I read by Nice Girl on Nice Girls Like Sex Too. Both Nice Girl and Amanda Palmer were labeled as bad feminists; Nice Girl, for how she dressed and for phrases she used (it is all explained in the linked article, go read it!), and Palmer for “gazing adoringly” at her husband!
Palmer’s response on her Tumblr was perfect, and I think she really expresses something that all too often gets left out when talking about feminism. Palmer states:
“as far as i’m concerned, the most powerful feminist can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
THAT IS WHAT DEFINES A TRUE FEMINIST.
this includes: wearing heels, wearing combat boots, wearing nothing, sporting lipstick, shaving, not shaving, waxing, not waxing, being political, being apolitical, having a job, being homeless, gazing at men, gazing at women, gazing at porn of all sorts, glamming up like a drag queen, going in man-drag, being in a five-way polyamorous relationship, being childless, being a stay-at-home parent, being single, having a wife, having a husband, and gazing/cooing adoringly at those that wives or husbands anywhere they fucking choose, including elevators, restaurants, puppet shows (well, maybe keep it g-rated if there are small children present), ….or on theatrical stages at fringe festivals. are we getting the picture here?? the most powerful feminist can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS. the minute you believe you’re a “bad feminist” because you said the wrong thing/wore the wrong thing/got married/chose to have children…or otherwise broke some unspecified ”code of feminism”: DON’T BUY IT. THERE ISN’T ONE. you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT. ANYTHING. THAT’S THE POINT.”
I had to share this and express my internal, “Hear hear!” You tell’em, Amanda Palmer.
Ladies, we do what we want! That very much is the point.